You finally succeeded in getting the President, buyer or manager of a large, prestigious company to meet you for lunch. You aspire to build a solid relationship with this leader in the hopes of earning the company’s business. You’ve even heard a rumor that their business relationship with your biggest competitor is on the rocks, so you’re more anxious than ever to move in and take advantage of this glorious opportunity. Not so fast, pardner! This rodeo is far from over. There are so many things that could go wrong, especially if you dive right in believing this is just another business lunch. Don’t worry; you can accomplish all of your goals if you are prepared and if you don’t make critical mistakes.

Robin Jay, affectionately referred to by her clients as “The Queen of the Business Lunch,” offers advice on how to increase business by breaking bread in her award-winning book, “The Art of the Business Lunch—Building Relationships between 12 and 2” (Career Press, 2006). As an advertising account manager in Las Vegas, Nevada, Jay has hosted more than 3,000 client lunches. As a result of her ability to build solid, long-lasting relationships, she saw her sales increase by more than 2,000%! People prefer to do business with people they like, and Jay says that there is no better way to get to know someone than by sharing a meal. One approach to learning how to sell over lunch is to avoid the making the following mistakes, which Jay says are at the top of the list of what NOT to do at a business lunch. They are:

1. “Surely one little drink won’t hurt!”

Think again. Getting drunk or even a little sloppy in front of a client or prospect can likely ruin your chances of every winning them over. Bad ideas start to sound good when you’re tipsy and you may even become inclined to share off-color jokes or reveal confidences that could sink your career. Drinking clouds your judgment, so unless your client takes the lead, don’t suggest a round of cocktails. If they take the initiative and order a drink, you can avoid an awkward situation by ordering one too, but make it something light, don’t finish it and don’t order another round.

2. “Hey there, sexy!”

Never assume your client is looking for a date. People can appear extremely friendly or open, but that doesn’t mean you should get fresh when courting business with someone of the opposite sex. Never assume familiarity too soon, either. A good rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t address someone of the same sex with a particular nickname, (“sexy,” “handsome,” “sweetheart”), then don’t use it with someone of the opposite sex.

3. “Hrmph, gruulp, brumflen?”

Never, ever talk with your mouth full! Believe it or not, when writing her book, nearly everyone asked Jay to mention this. Apparently there are a lot of otherwise successful executives in corporate America who never learned that they shouldn’t talk with food in their mouth. Take small bites so that if you need to respond to a question, you can chew and swallow quickly without having to talk with your mouth full. And speaking of talking, never interrupt your guest when they are talking. That is one of the biggest mistakes to make at a business lunch or in any business setting. AND if you’re going to be taking clients to lunch regularly, bone up on your basic etiquette.

4. “I’ll meet you there.”

Offer to pick up your client and drive them to lunch whenever possible. Greeting them in the lobby of their office building is a lot more intimate than trying to find someone new in a crowded restaurant. Imagine the two of you waiting for each other to arrive, while in fact you have both been seated – at separate tables on opposite sides of a restaurant! It could be embarrassing as well as a colossal waste of precious time.

5. “That’s not what I asked for; can’t you get it right?”

Anyone who is nice to you but nasty to their server is NOT a nice person. Always be polite to your server, no matter what happens.

6. “We’re much better than our lousy competitor!”

Putting down your competition only makes you look bad. Learn to build better business relationships by outperforming and out-servicing your competition…NOT by putting them down. Also, if your prospect is already doing business with your competitor, insulting a rival can imply that anyone working with them must be stupid or foolish as well.

7. “Hmmmmmmmmmmm…”

Ever sit through a meal that is heavy with awkward silence? It’s not necessary. Be prepared for casual conversation by becoming informed. Watch twenty minutes of a daily morning news show, read several magazines each week (including industry publications), and a best-seller or two, and learn to ask interesting questions. The odds are no one has asked your client for their thoughts on travel, gardening, sports or the movies.

8. “What’s 20% of this check if lunch was $63.33?”

Oh, good grief! Is there anything tackier than showing someone how much you just spent when buying them lunch, breakfast or dinner? Anyone who can read a menu will have a good idea as to how much you’re spending. If you can’t read the check without your glasses, then make sure you have them with you at all times. Never show the check to your guest for any reason. Always tip at least 20% at a business meal and always pay with a credit card, too. Cash creates a “let’s all chip in” atmosphere.

9. “I didn’t know that!”

Never head off to a business meal without knowing everything you can about your business, your client’s business, or your industry and its trends. Having the inside track will make you shine in your client’s eyes. Thanks to the internet, being in the know has never been easier.

10. “This lunch cost more than my car payment!”

Choosing the right restaurant for a business lunch is extremely important. Your choice says a lot about you and how you feel toward your client. Too casual or inexpensive and your client may not feel valued. Too expensive and they may perceive you as wasteful and wonder if you will be that extravagant with THEIR money, should you earn their business. A “Top 10 List of Criteria” – what to look for when choosing a restaurant for a business lunch is available in “The Art of the Business Lunch,” and includes such factors as choosing the right location, menu, acoustics and price.

Breaking bread with a client or a prospect can be the most effective way to break down barriers and build relationships. There are more than 500 opportunities each year to share a meal with a prospect, client or associate, so you should never waste a meal slot eating alone. Be prepared for your business lunches and then prepare to watch your business grow.

Robin Jay, (http://www.RobinJay.com), is a professional keynote speaker, award-winning author and corporate trainer. Robin is not just the “Queen of the Business Lunch,” but is a business relationship expert who shares the nuts-and-bolts of building profitable business relationships. Her book, “The Art of the Business Lunch ~ Building Relationships Between 12 and 2” (Career Press, 2006) has been sold in ten languages worldwide. She is a contributor to “The POWER of Mentorship” (POM) series of books, including “The Millionaire Within” and “For the Woman Entrepreneur,” and is also a contributor to the famed “Chicken Soup for the Soul” franchise of books with her entry in “Chicken Soup for the Wine Lover’s Soul” (Nov, 2007). Jay will also be a featured expert in “The POWER of Mentorship: The MOVIE,” due out December 6th, 2007 (http://www.ThePowerofMentorship.com). Robin is president of the Las Vegas Convention Speakers Bureau (http://www.LVCSB.com).

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